Can't explain it

I'm starting to feel funny. Everything's there but it doesn't make sense to me. My stomach's aching with nothingness. I had a night shift but could only sleep for 3 hours after. My head spins between worry and need to sleep, yet it's so awake. Sleeping on my ever-comfortable bed feels like sleeping on bricks. I don't feel like being in my own room now. i think im gonna be sick.

But nothing

So much to say but memory sucks. 

And sometimes I just like to wallow in misery and think everything in this world sucks. The thought I'm thinking these thoughts suck. I'm so optimistic I want to be pessimistic. Everything sucks. I'm saying all this cos I know it's not true. But that's me right now pessimist. Don't you just hate the world? 

Why can't i be a better sister or friend or girlfriend? My own existence irks me. get away. 

[deep inside she knows its all okay. there are people out there whom she loves very much and will do anything for and thinks they love her back] 

this sucks. i have to get out of pessimist mode its not making me feel better. 

[really deeeep down inside she's really happy and grateful about everything and everyone in her life an knows there's no need for all this blabbering] 

i feel like i hold back my emotions alot of the time when im very mad. and it sucks that feeling. to want to think ur very madbut u cant say cos you either think all hell will break loose if the monster in you comes out, or, it might just make the monster in the other person come out. and its not gonna be rpettty.

people, let's stop any traces of judgmental-ism running in our blood. it's so inhumanely... sinful. it does no good for me, no good for you. no good to think what you think is really going through the minds of others or what they really go through. imagination is a powerful tool but use it wisely. like they always say, too much of something is never good.

neever.. ever.. eever... ever.. er.. r....

that S word

sometimes it sucks being so sensitive.

I think i sinned

Is it bad when you suddenly talk to your baby brother as if he's an adult and expect him to understand like an adult, and when he didn't and threw a tantrum you're caught off guard cos he's just five and you forgot it and you go all road rage and start babbling things you're not even aware of. I think it is bad. Damn i have to stop all this expecting. Expectations expectations. Don't do that, you limit people you hurt people. When will i ever learn.

Biore pore pack is best. If you got uber zealous blackheads studding your face and you want to get rid of them get a pore pack! 10 mins and zoot, its the best feeling when you remove it! You get a clean face with holes. 

Treasuring the finds

Today was PHASE 3 of 'Operation Clean This Nasty Room'. Which will be the final phase, I believe. Originally, it was like this mixed-up complexedly-composed song. Then, it was stripped to its bare minimum of just voice and acoustic. And thats what I've done. Stripped my room silly.

I have to say it's been fun. Cleaning and organizing can be a real sucker when you suddenly realise you have tons of shit in the room. But the fun part is trying to come up with categories, re-organizing and abit of redesigning where the things have to go. The bonus is, almost every item brings back a certain memory, which slows down the process. But hey! All in the name of fun and reminisce.

I have organized the junkyard into:

1. (Sec) School-related

Things like textbooks, notebooks, excercise books, assessment books. I want to keep them just in case I get bored one day. And I have a hunch that I may feel like re-educating myself sometime in the future. Or perhaps look back at my books and go, awww I hated this chapter. You know, it's like precious memories I want to keep. 

So throwing of textbooks is no go. They're here for keeps. And they'll probably go into my future fantasy library.

2. Magazine/Comic 

For memories sake too I guess. Magazines from as far back as 1997 [the pop era manz!] like Lime (when it was superb),  Teens, Teenage, Bop, 8 Days, Tiger Beat, Smash Hits, It's Hot!, Top of The Pops, etc. It would always remind me of my high school days where splurging on a magazine once/twice a week was a necessity. It was irresistible. Every week, there was someone interesting on the covers. Now, not so much. 

3. Photo albums

Very important.

4. Spare

Mainly consisting of past incompletely utilised exercise books, papers, files, etc. for future use.

5. Gadgets

A drawer full of chargers, product packages, warranty cards, receipts, external hard disks, etc.

6. Important things/Religious books

This one's a pretty big drawer so there's room for one more category of things. Things like diploma certs, O level certs, death certs, religious books, all go in here. 

7. Precious things

Given by precious people, belongs in this drawer.

8. Books

Yay for fiction, non-fiction, thriller, suspense, and fantasy!

9. CDs/DVDs

Gelora! I love staring at entertainment. and knowing a lot of stories await me, exciting. 

10. Misc.

Old toys, accessories, board games, watches, pouches, insert here.

The room breathes new life again.

Say my name

Haha I was bored. really.

If you're bored too you can do it here.

They lied. They said "have your favourite celebs spell out your name".

None of them 're my fave. Where's my host!

woah

... that was weird. reading my first blog again.

School boys

Got a little bored at 2am. I started thinking of mijon again. 

the kid in the image can be a boy, girl, me, you.

Really, don't get forget to catch Sayang Sayang tonight if you've got nothing to do.

I'm gonna record the whole season. 

I'm a blu, I'm a dee da ba da, I'm a dee da ba da, I'm a dee da ba da...

Remember!

Welcome to Good Burger. Home of the Good Burger.

Can I take your order?

The popular line from Nickelodeon's Good Burger (probably one of the best films by them) mentioned by Ed (Kel Mitchell). Brought back memories watching cos I don't have the cartoon channels anymore. 

Here's a sneak into the first 3-minutes,

First 3-min of Good Burger

If you're a fan of Kenan and Kel, fast food, and family-type comedy, here's where you can watch Good Burger: http://www.watch-movies.net/movies/good_burger/

Dexter: Haven't I seen you somewhere before?

Ed: Ever been to Australia?

Dexter: No.

Ed: Me neither.

:(

Flying over bus stops

It's funny, how will you ever know what's the right thing to do when you get confused between decisions all the time. 

You want to support others and be there for them, but do you need your alone time?

You want to care for the feelings of others, but should you care about your own feelings?

You listen to them whenever they need a listening ear, but do you need a listening ear too?

Sometimes you want to cry for attention but it would seem boastful and selfish. That's one of the first things people suspect. You want to cry for attention, but not too much for the good of you and the people you're with. So when is the right time to cry for attention, without seeming selfish and knowing you want to pay attention to them at the same time? 

I don't know. I think I'm talking senselessly now.

I envy selfless people. I really do cos I want to be that person. But it's hard when I'm so full of myself. They can humbly put their problems aside for a while despite its weight on them, and concentrate on the problems of others. Hats down to you selfless people.

You wish you could solve every problem

but apparently you can't.

I am the proud owner of

30 SECONDS TO MARS self-titled album YAY!

I am the proud owner of

The OC Season 1

The OC Season 2

Hot Stud of the Week

JOHNNY DEPP

Don't know why? 1, I think he's the sexiest man alive. 2, He has to be the sexiest man alive. 3, Yes he is the sexiest man alive. 4, His acting is pretty good.

Occupation: Actor

He's known for movies like: Chocolat, Edward Scissorhands, Finding Neverland, Sleepy Hollow, Corpse Bride, Charlie & The Chocolate Factory, Pirates of the Caribbean, and recently, Sweeney Todd.

Kelly went to Polly

Here's a random poll I found while a snooping around Buzznet.

BATTLE OF THE BLUE EYES

Much like the sky, the ocean and the Smurfs, the color blue can be striking on the right set of eyes. Take a look at these musicians and vote on whose pair of baby-blues hold your attention the longest. Start making music or get some colored contacts and you can be on this list too!

http://www.buzznet.com/web/music/polls/98871/

Contenders inclue: Mike Dirnt - Green Day, Joe Trohman - Fall Out Boy, Avril Lavigne, Jared - 30 Seconds To Mars, David Ryan - Every Avenue, and others (you can suggest and vote if they're not on there!).

Juice of Life

There's something absolutely incredible about this drink. To me, it is THE Elixir of Life. I am quickly replacing my frequent dose of coffee to what seems to be a not-so-healthy pick of the Red Bull. It's readily available, no hassle of constant mixing like home-made coffee, and oh so rejuvenating.

I don't know if it's some psychological thing or if Red Bull really works. It makes me feel slightly stronger. And it makes me believe I can stay up all night to do work. It makes me believe I have the energy even tho at the back of my head, I know I'm a little tired already. Which is great!

The Elixir of Life that gives me wings!







*yawnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn*

Butter Fly

FLY, FLY, BUTTER FLY! Just a random idea we had.

American Idol Season 7

I remembered being amazingly intrigued by a talent show that had fast taken the world by storm. Not only because of the wacky personalities going in and out of the audition room, but I believe the judges played a role too.

Everyone wanted to watch what the infamous Simon says. He's been claimed to be so straight-forward and cynical he could make people cry in one minute, tops. So we had to watch the first season of American Idol to see for ourselves. Many seasons later, I lost interest.

But last night, I persevered. I watched American Idol season 7 for a whole 2 hours. Because a few talents caught my attention.

David Archuleta 17-years-old, started singing at 7

David Archuleta - Shop Around (60s night)

Garrett Haley 17-years-old, performed in local talent shows and high school musicals

Garrett Haley - Breaking Up Is Hard To Do (60s night)

Jason Castro 20-years-old, played in a band Keeping Lions, and plays drums other than singing



Jason Castro - What A Day For A Daydream (60s night)

Hot stud of the Week

JUDE LAW
Don't know why?
Because his accent is oh-so-delectable. It's so smooth, you just want to melt, like, NOW!

Occupation: Actor

Known for movies like: Talented Mr Ripley, Gattaca, Artificial Intelligence, Cold Mountain, Alfie, Sky Captain and The World of Tomorrow, and recently, My Blueberry Nights.

"Hey Jude, don't make it bad,

Take a sad song and make it better,

Remember to let her into your heart,

Then you can start to make it better."

- The Beatles, Hey Jude