Britain is outraged

(source: mirror.co.uk)

This little blue-eyed cutie known as "Baby P", was only 17-months-old when he died. And he lived a (very short) life that was probably a thousand times rougher than any of ours. To cut long story short, his Mummy didn't give him the love every toddler should receive.

But if someone's hungry for a long story, here it is (chipped off The New Paper):

    "The toddler had been visited 60 times by social workers. A doctor examined him, but missed the fact that the child had a broken back and eight fractured ribs. His mother managed to explain away his constant bruises time and time again, sometimes even smearing the wounds with chocolate to hide them."                                                               

    "Last week, his mother, her boyfriend, and their tenant were found guilty of causing his death. The Times reported that Baby P had been in the sole care of his mother, who lives in North London, since she split from his father when the child was 3 months old, after she had affairs with two men."

    "Her 32-year-old live-in boyfriend treated him even more brutally, using him 'like a punching bag' and treating him worse than the family pet..."      

    "Investigators said that after the boyfriend moved in, not one item of the boy's clothing was left unstained with blood. While the mother chatted with friends online, her boyfriend would beat the boy, swinging him around by the neck or legs and pinching him.

      He also forced Baby P to obey commands like a dog. A snap of the fingers meant the boy would have to sit with his head bent between his legs. Another snap 20 minutes later would be the signal that he could sit upright again. 

       Other instances of abuse included placing the boy on a stool and spinning it around until he fell off. As Baby P grew too old for milk and jars of baby food, he was forced to scavenge bits of broken biscuits from older children and was even seen eating dirt in the garden."

It seemed social workers never noticed his injuries. A doctor noticed marks on the boy. The mother said he "bruised easily". The same doctor later referred Baby P to hospital for a head injury. Mother said he was a "head-banger".

The boyfriend was said to enjoy torturing animals and would skin frogs alive before breaking their legs (this dude's a serious nutcase). 

3 Aug, Baby P was found stiff and blue in his blood-spattered cot. The Guardian reported even as the ambulance crew tried to rush him to hospital, the mother demanded they wait while she got her ciggies. This mum's a real f------ b----! 

Baby P was pronounced dead on arrival. He suffered more than 50 injuries at the hands of his mother. 

                                                                                             

(source: mirror.co.uk)

"Physical injuries included eight broken ribs, a broken back and the missing top of a finger, while the emotional damage was almost incalculable. Despite it all, Baby P was said to have still attempted a smile." - Times Online

R.I.P. little baby.

Live forever

When you were younger, you probably know you can't touch a lot of the things in the house or else you'd get a good smack or scolding from the parents. But when you're older, you realise you can touch things in the house (whether it belongs to parents or not) without really having to ask.

So my itchy hands began rummaging through my parents drawers. And I began discovering a lot of cards, letters, love letters. Some were funny, some were sad. I can't believe I got my mum a Loony Tunes card for her last birthday. I realised she laminated some family photos with messages written on the back for us. And I got to see the things dad wrote to her.

One thing I've learned is if we can and want to retain a certain memory, it helps if we take a photo or document it somewhere with the date, venue, and what we remember most about it. Cos if we grow real old, our brain's not gonna be fresh forever. But perhaps seeing the picture or reading smth about it might trigger the memory. 

But say if we don't live long enough, at least we've left a part of us for whoever's still alive in the family to see. 

I have to be honest, I'm so afraid to die. I had another nightmare of dying. But this time everyone's going to die. There was a collective understanding that soon everyone would pass at the same time. We didn't know the exact time and day but we knew it was soon. I hugged everyone close to me and said my last words. I took all of mum's things, held it tight and closed my eyes, hoping sleeping would make the 'transition' into wherever life after death brings us, easier. 

Then Mirzan jolted me awake "Kakak wake up, wake up". I've never felt better about being alive. 

Magic pinch

It's that special pinch. That sends millions of watts of jolt into the mind and soul, instantly giving the 'wake up' we need. It occurs once in a blue moon. And when it does, it makes the body cringe in fear of scary possibilities. It makes the brain rethink and create new paths. The body screams "Revamp revamp!"

The time to enjoy is now. Less time for stressing over problems. Less time for self-pity. Less time for wandering. Less time for complaining. Execution has to begin now. Make the best out of things now. Appreciation and gratitude.

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

If you want to hug your cat, hug it. If you need to apologize to your friend, apologize. Life is too short for waiting. Life is too short for lingering. Because you might not be able to do it tomorrow. Or the minute after that. The divine being up there can cut the breath out of us in a split second or faster. 

Time and tide waits for no man. (Ruz's fav. quote teehee, not sure if it still is) 

When I was little, mum kissed me goodnight every night and I asked her why. She said, in case she doesn't see me the next day. I guess at least I go to sleep knowing mum loves me. I kind of miss her strawberry kisses now but nothing I can do about it. So I spread it on. I'm kind of awkward in showing love to dad and Mat. But Mirzan and the lloved one. Like Mirzan, when I first see him in the day I hug him tight and kiss him on the cheek. Then after that I keep wanting to hug him. He'll probably get sick of it one day haha, but I don't care. 

Live life with no regrets. The time to act is now!

"The Greatest"

Muhammad Ali.

Such a clever man who spoke with great poetry. A man who always knew what he wanted and got it. I can't help but research him. I've been watching boxing footage day in and out.

It all started when he was 12, and his bicycle was stolen. He ran up to a policeman, Joe Martin, fuming. Turns out, Joe runs his own gym and trained the boy to box. From there it began.

After Ali had converted to Muslim he was supposed to join the Vietnam War. But he didn't. He was furious at the thought that black people were not treated right, but still had to put on a uniform and "continue the domination of white slave masters" by murdering another nation. 

"I ain't got no quarrel with them Viet Cong... they never called me nigger."

He said war is against the teachings of the Qur'an. 

"I'd rather face machine gunfire before, uh, deviate from the teachings of almighty God and the religion of Islam."

1967, Ali was stripped of his heavyweight title and boxing license due to his refusal to join the Armed Forces on religious grounds. 3 years later, he was vindicated by the US Supreme Court and returned to the ring. 

Ali on how he'd like to be remembered

Already know

Patience is a good way to go. 

Not the only way, but one of many ways. 

Don't let the heart jump before you. 

Maybe what I'm saying is not even logical cos I'm sleepy now. 

Patience is divine. In my opinion. I just forget to do it sometimes.

Patience is the companion of wisdom. In Saint Augustine's opinion.

But I agree. Good one Saint Augustine.

I'm so grateful to have the ability to see, hear, touch, taste, smell. I thank god everyday for it. People who walk around with one hand, people who can't see and have to depend on the stick, people who weren't born normal. Most of them would want to be in our shoes. For some reason I see many of them nowadays. And you know what they say, you're there for a reason. Made to witness these things that makes you rethink and rethink. 

I'm happy. No matter how unhappy I am, I'm happy.

Randy's last lecture

This is a great example of how we could try and live life right, but still be hit by a fast-killing disease. Dr Randy Pausch excercises everyday, he tries to eat right but is one day hit by Pancreatic cancer. Later told that he has months to live. Randy has to try stay positive, for he will be leaving behind a loving wife and 3 beautiful young children. He won't be able to watch them grow up to be big boys, or grow old with his wife. 

But he accepted it, and helped to raise awareness for Pancreatic Cancer before he died. Being a researcher himself, Randy, says the researches going towards Pancreatic cancer isn't well-funded. He believes that if it is, they might be able to find more ways to help patients rather than just chemotherapy and radiation. 

Here he is on Oprah, with his Last Lecture, talking about achieving childhood dreams and sharing lessons he learned in life.

Scientist studies

Today I want to write about Mirzan, again, cos he's such a little Ronald McDonald. I enjoy writing about him. 

People always say, you never know what goes through the mind of another. 

I saw Mirzan grow up from when he was a tiny almost premature-like baby to a full-grown 5-year-old. You'd think you know all about someone if you've watched him from the day he was born. I thought I did, but turn out, I may be wrong. 

Lately he gets mad easily. Like when he's enjoying playing PSP and a baby crawls over and innocently lays a finger on his precious device, he raises his arms high as if gonna hit the kid, and screams in a high-pitch tone "I said DON'T DISTURBBBB!!!!!" Then his face crumples up, with pursed lips, he goes "Ngrrrrrrr!!!"

While walking back with him one day, after he's had one of his baby angst moments, he explained to me. 

"sometimes.. sometimes, my think (pointing to his head) make me like bad guy. then i like want to hit the orang.."

- my think = the way I think

- orang = person

I was surprised at first. I mean, he's able to understand something I probably didn't understand at his age. I said to him 

"You're actually a good boy, baby." 

he said

"sometimes.. sometimes i good boy.. sometimes i naughty. sometimes my think make me like bad guy.. then i angry, then my hands like this" 

he shows me his clenched fist.

He understands the effect his um, brain has on him? He knows the source of his emotion and what it does to him, but he doesn't know how to help it. And it's beautiful sometimes when you hear it from the mouth of a child, the major discoveries he makes on his own. Now, we have to do something about that baby angst.

Passenger seat

There's a slight bout of sorrow when you've lost a battle. Especially when you've lost much and was depending on the win to save you and your family. Let the tears free, breathe, take your loved ones in your hands, and slowly walk out of the wreckage. 

Thoughts of an older sister

I'm not the greatest of older sisters. But I love this boy to death, I'll do anything for him. He's my reality and fantasy, and I know anytime I need to escape he'll be there with me. 

He's my dream. Whatever I couldn't really do as a kid, I let him. When I was little, I never really knew how to express thoughts or ideas. So now I have this bundle of hope with me, I let him be who he wants to be. I'm not ashamed if he screams really loud in delight in a crowd of silence. I let him roam free, be whoever he wants to be. I don't want him growing up thinking like oh, he can't say or do something because people will think like this. 

That's who I was and I grew up my entire childhood lying my way. I was afraid of facing honesty. Lying was my main way out. The feeling wasn't good at all but I didn't understand.

But he isn't selfish, mostly anwyay. I'm happy about that. As an older sister earning abit of moolah once in a while, I and the family sometimes like to buy surprises (e.g. sweets, books) for Baby. That's what my father used to do, buy me surprises. So I think some of it rubbed off on him. He likes to buy sweets for his friends, or if I buy him sparklers he wants to share it with the neighbour. If he's having something nice and I ask may I have some, he readily says yes. If not, I'll call him selfish! 

However, being an 'adult' surrounded in a house of adults, I sometimes forget he's only a child, a 5-year-old. Whom at this stage requires all the attention and support. So sometimes I shun him away because besides work, sometimes I feel like I need my own 'me' time. 

So he waited for me. It was kind of annoying at first cos he kept knocking on the door, and asking me to come out. But he kept on waiting. Till he fell asleep outside my door.

:(

I have to keep reminding myself, he's not an adult. He's a child. A lonely child surrounded by a house-ful of adults. It's okay to give in to him, because he needs the attention. I can have my 'me' time later when he's gone to sleep.

From now on I'll be there for him anytime he needs me cos if I don't, next time I look at him he might be a grown 15-year-old who doesn't need his older sister's attention anymore. 

Life's a beef and we love it

Though I'm trying not to consume it too much just thinking of all those cute, chubby cows. But I have to admit, the Thaksin Beef Noodles at Seah Im are undeniably good. Contains no MSG and pretty refreshing taste. And Raya's approaching. So them Deng Dengs (above) are a "must" once a year. 

I realise Raya becomes more special for me when I reserve my stomach for most of the default Raya food like Lontong, sambal goreng, kueh tart. And for alot of us, homemade is always best. Cooked the way we know and like it to be by the hands of our mothers. With a special ingredient called love. i miss mum.

Which reminds me, we dropped by Geylang again last weekend to look for that nice baju kurung we saw on our first trip. It was grey with maroon red Roses all over. Was like one of those old, kampung style kurungs cos I'm so sick of all the funky new ones. There's no nice new ones this year, Second Chance disappointed me. I'll prolly wear one of the old ones. The relatives won't tell cos I rarely wear baju kurung anyway. 

Being at Frameworks has been great so far. I met the nicest bunch of people to work with. 

I started seeing the difference between interning at a production house and post- house. And I'm kinda glad I started at a production house first. I'm just thinking to myself it could be worse. But hey, everything's a learning process anyway. No matter where I landed I'd try and be happy with it anyway. 

Trying to love something you've never loved before can lead to interesting discoveries. Life's a beef, I love it, and my McDelivery is on its way now hooray!

Truth in waiting

Sometimes I'm afraid I might one day forget what she sounded like, how she smiled, how she laughed, how she spoke, how she scolded us when she got back frm work, how she used to blow her nose like a trumpet every morn, the places she brought us to during spare time, the words she said... 

People say I look like her but I don't see that at all. She was fair with a radiant glow which went well with her good-nature, that attracted me to her.

"No man or woman can be too powerful or too beautiful without disaster befalling." [King Phillip to young Alexander, Alexander the movie]

or "Nothing is (or can be) perfect."

or maybe even "Good things never last."

Life needs the ups and downs. Seems that's how it maintains its balance. 

8 years gone, and she seems like another passing dream. Like I never met her, but the evidence is clear before my eyes when I look back at photographs. Everytime I have a memory of her, I plan to write it down.

"... our memories depend on a faulty camera in our minds" [DCFC What Sarah Said]

What Sarah said. 

Love is watching someone die.

Death Cab For Cutie - What Sarah Said

What the world can't do without

Marine life.

Meet Ray. I wonder what happened to his fin.

(The Hoosiers - 'Worried About Ray'?)

I forgot his name but it's beautiful in its own scary way. 

That Japanese Spider crab. 

Sea Dragon. It moves slowly and gracefully with the water. And its sensitive to light, the only one on display with 'No Flashes' sign. But some tourists never read. 

The gelatinous beings with no heart. 

(The Killers -  I got Soul But I'm not a Soldier?)

3 lazy (or shy) sharks and a kepoh fish.

Dugong, he's cute in real life.

And the man we bumped into heehaw! Ghaz was doing an outdoor activity (sculpting) as part of his ADM class.

D'ohhhhhhhhh.

Tips here

Need tips on graphic designing, weight loss, money management, great FYIs, DIYs or even having fun? Dumb Little Man is a great place to go. 

Started by a man called Jay White who goes through the same problems as any human. While writing his experiences and their solutions he learned other people too had something to share and especially tips on facing different situations. So it became a place where people could chip in ideas and things they knew about diff. topics. It's a fun place to read stuff too. 

Among its many splendid articles, here's one

15 Awesome Tutorial Websites You Probably Don't Know About

by Abhijeet Mukherjee, of Jeet Blog

The internet boasts of accommodating tutorials to absolutely anything. Here are 15 such super-useful sites which aim to provide you with all the tutorials you'd ever need.

1. How Stuff Works
   How Stuff Works is probably the best known How-to tutorials site. It has has a vast and diverse collection with topics ranging from food, health, computers, etc. One of the best things about this site is that it explains even the toughest tutorial in a very simple and easy to understand language.
   


2. YouTube
   Surprised? Well, it shouldn't be if you use YouTube a lot. Yesterday my younger brother bought a new guitar and the very first thing he needed to do was to tune it. So he just logged on, went to youtube.com and searched for "How to tune a guitar". And there you go! He had a nice video explaining the process step-by-step.


3. eHow
   eHow is another comprehensive tutorials website with detailed instructions on how to do just about anything. Like How Stuff Works, this site also covers a wide range of topics.


4. About.com's Video Tutorials
   About.com's video tutorial site has a collection of very informative how-to videos and screencasts on topics which include Parenting, Style, Electronics and Gadgets, etc. I found the collection to be very comprehensive and probably better than You Tube's collection of similar videos.


5. wikiHow
   wikiHow, as it says, is an editable How-to site with 40,100 articles contributed by volunteers from different parts of the world. You're sure to find some nice tutorials here too.


6. Instructables
   Instructables is a cool Do-It-Yourself site that has an extensive collection of user submitted how-to articles and easy instructions complete with videos and photographs. It's a community driven website where you can submit content, vote and comment on existing content.


7. Wired's How-To Wiki
   Wired magazine's how-to wiki has some very elaborate and detailed tutorials focussed primarily on topics like Gadgets, Technology and Computers. You can also subscribe to its RSS feed to get them the new how-to articles directly in your feed reader.


8. PC World's How-to Site
   PC World, one of the best tech journals available, also has a how to site that publishes technology focused tutorials related to various electronic gadgets, hardware and software applications.


9. VideoJug
   When it comes to how-to video tutorial sites, VideoJug is probably the largest and most comprehensive. It has videos on varied subjects like choosing a new hairstyle, playing golf, installing windows or how to kiss someone passionately.


10. W3Schools
    W3Schools is a first class web development tutorials website which provides easy reference guides on languages like HTML, XHTML, CSS, PHP and JavaScript. All the tutorials are free and nicely explained through various examples.


11. NETTUTS And PSDTUTS
    NETTUTS and PSDTUTS are sister sites, in fact blogs, and definitely one of the best online resources on web development and Photoshop skills. NETTUTS explores web development and designing in detail while PSDTUTS provides some world-class Adobe Photoshop tutorials.


12. 5min
    5min is a video tutorial site with a difference- the videos are short and no more than 5 mins. Like other video sites, this too covers a wide range of topics, however it's yet to take on sites like VideoJug in the online video tutorial space.


13. SuTree
    Sutree aggregates the best video tutorials from other video sites and covers a variety of topics like softwares, games, pets & animals etc. Like instructables, SuTree is also a community driven website and lets you find videos through tags and subscribe to the RSS feed of the site.


14. VTC
    Although VTC is not entirely free to use, it does provide some nice tutorials on software and business applications. Out of around 66,000 tutorials, it provides 12,500 for free.


15. Good Tutorials
    Good Tutorials has a nice collection of graphic design tutorials which it aggregates through various web design sites and blogs. And yes, it's free to use !

So overall, with the exception of VTC, all the other sites are completely free and can certainly fetch you any tutorial you can ever imagine. Hope you enjoy using them. :)

Cheers,

Abhijeet

[edit: 1 more contributed by Matt]

Monkey See

Monkey See was launched in January 2008, providing free access to a large collection of professionally-produced, high quality, how-to videos on a wide range of topics presented by experts. Tagline, See how the experts do it.

Kampong Jared

Habitat for Humanity - Malaysia 06/08/08

with pakciks and makciks

Girl of my dream

You know in dreams when you sense something good or bad is gonna happen when you see someone or something and they really turn out that way.

I was in a car in a carpark (with someone mysterious as the driver). I just entered the car, am about to close the door. Suddenly a girl appears next to my door and she doesn't let me close it.

For a moment I'm thinking she's a spirit who's ready to eat me. Then I think she's a robber who's gonna rob me.

I get out of the car.

We stand face-to-face and she looks a little scary from my 'current' knowledge of her being a robber. But suddenly I thought of her being a lonely, love-starved girl and maybe that's why she's been trying to get my attention. 

I wrapped my arms tight around her, she just fell limp into me and cried away.

Them good 'ol English sayings

When I was 14, I thought English proverbs and idioms were only phrases I could use to help me ace my English Language exams. And I did with proper usage of it in my compositions. 

Now, I depend on them almost everyday to keep me in the righter path and the righter state of mind. Of course not blindly, but if there's logic to it there's no harm in believing in it. Especially if it makes you feel better after a difficult situation. 

What I like about it is there are so many different sayings that cater to different situations. It feels like every saying has a special purpose depending on how people view it and use it. But what's fun about it is when you're in a certain situation, and somebody says a saying thats very closely-related to the situation they are/have been/going to be in, then suddenly the group feels this great uplift of enlightenment. And I think that's the magic of proverbs, that moment of enlightenment.

So I thought I'd share some here once in a while and hopefully help others get through their day as well. 

(note: the proverb meanings may not exactly agree with your prior knowledge and what you know it to be, but the ones here are based on a tiny bit research, prior knowledge, my thoughts, and a tinier bit of logic)

Proverbs of the day:

Each day brings its own bread

Try not to worry so much about the future

[perhaps it also suggests enjoying the company of that 'bread' while you have it cos when a different day comes, its a whole different one]

After a storm comes a calm

Things cannot stay in turmoil forever, calmer times will always follow

Have a good day ahead. 

Power of opposites

But there's also that tingle in your tummy when you're uncertain. Fear, maybe. Or excitement. Ready to see how it turns out, like an experiment. 

When opposites meet, whether siblings, friends, love partners, or colleagues, either disaster or magic could happen. If they possess two completely different characteristics from different extremes. It's contingent on the person's background, how the person grew up, the type of people that surround him, what his family's like, who he hangs with, the person's current well-being, how he views life, how he reacts to different people and situations, etc. 

When you put two humans together you never know what can happen. And that's what's exciting about it. Because these humans can move on their own. And who knows which way they'll move towards. 

So it's up to us to either make that 1 + 1 = 1 seamless whole, where differences are expressed and shared, where we hold the ying and the other holds the yang that helps to keep both stable and balanced, where we could use the differences to fill in the 'gaps' of the other, discover things about yourself or the other person you never knew; or continue making 1 + 1 = 2 separate entities where the differences will never be resolved, and both ignores each other's skills/flaws, and thus, they shall never rest in peace.

1 + 1 = 1

I was watching Oprah at 5 am today. 

So there was this story of an 8-year-old Indian girl, let's name her Rani, in the 1960s who was taken away from her family because they were poor. A lady came to her and told her everything will be alright, she will bring her to a safer place. Next thing she knew she was being sold as a slave. She was constantly beaten, and almost sold into prostitution. Somehow someway, she got lucky. She was brought to America where a lady adopted her and gave her everything she needed to heal. 

Nearby in Vietnam, a 9-year-old boy, Tron, too had to leave his family. It was wartime and they were taking away boys as young as 8 and 9 to be recruits in the war. His family didn't want that to happen to him.  So they sent him off saying he's going over to his granny's and they would come visit soon. He aboarded a ship full of refugees without any relatives with him. Along the way they were founded by an enemy ship. He watched as people were shot in front of him, mothers being raped as their babies were taken away from them.  

The ship reached a deserted island of Indonesia. He stayed in a cave for 6 months by himself until he was found by Indonesians, and sent to America. 

It was there that Tron met Rani (on a blind date), and today, they're married with 4 kids. 

Battle of One

"Be a hero, kill your ego" 

Just something to share. In recent weeks, I've been thinking a lot more. This extra voice in the head. It used to be so excessive I simply couldn't control it at all. Now it's back but more controllable. I can tell it to shut up once in a while. 

It's not a completely bad thing, this voice, and neither is it completely good. The thing about my sensitivity is that the slightest things make me think throughout the day and even into my sleep. From the slightest things to biggest things worry me. Whether it's about my dad, my baby brother, my best friend, my boyfriend, my ex-, my sec sch friends, my ex-facis, my sec sch best friend, my kindergarten friends, my future, etc. 

It's tiring but it can't stop. 

I'd wake up with headaches and a thousand images flashing in my head at an instant (eh, is that why my headaches often?). But good thing about all the thinking is, it helps me improve myself if I think I haven't been acting fairly to people. I rewind and replay several times before deciding to change. Change is constant, and so is learning.

But lately. All these thoughts flooding my head. Some so redundant, some just replaying. It's become so used to thinking it's starting to generate on its own. So much so that I'm oblivious of where I'm physically standing, who I'm physically sitting next to, what my ears are realistically hearing, and what my hands are physically touching. Because I'm so caught up in thoughts.

Frequently I tell myself, stop it! You have to concentrate on the NOW. 

The more my mind went to the past and the future, I realised I became more expectant of people and situations, more arrogant, more selfish, more hot-headed, more judgmental.

I would get mad at myself because of these things and not really understand why. It wasn't easy but  it took me weeks to understand a little better. 

I've told this to myself many many times before but didn't completely adopt it - Hindsight is often a blessing. 

So I said - Concentrate on the now, don't expect too much of the future. Cos if you do, you will not see the Value of yourself/people/things/situations/etc. Be aware of your surroundings - sight, sound, smell, touch, taste. Appreciate the people around you, appreciate the things you currently have, appreciate reality. Take things in as they come. 

So I'm a fan of subtitles no more (unless it's a foreign flick).

"Love is the only rational act" - Levine

That's what I'll do. Learn to love everyone/thing. At the end of the day when you have problems, it comes down to a bit of loving and it's all okay.  

-----------------------------
"It is said in martial arts that, you must slice your ego first before slicing the opponent's head."

[for quick read, 'ctrl F' the words "ego" and "now"]

"Kill your ego, recognize the true you"

Hindsight

One of the best and worst days of my 20-year life. A part of me felt a certain loss while another was scheming a plan in order to improve herself. One part felt hopeless while another knew exactly what was happening and what must be done. 

I am calm. It took a bit of darkness for me to see the light. Literally when I was lying down on my bed, headphones on, staring into the dark, everything came to me. The answers were sitting there staring at me the entire time but I kept overlooking them. It was so hard to focus today. A thousand thoughts running through my head. 

I know what to do now. It was just coincidence all this had to happen on Friday 13. But I'm glad it's over.