Live forever

When you were younger, you probably know you can't touch a lot of the things in the house or else you'd get a good smack or scolding from the parents. But when you're older, you realise you can touch things in the house (whether it belongs to parents or not) without really having to ask.

So my itchy hands began rummaging through my parents drawers. And I began discovering a lot of cards, letters, love letters. Some were funny, some were sad. I can't believe I got my mum a Loony Tunes card for her last birthday. I realised she laminated some family photos with messages written on the back for us. And I got to see the things dad wrote to her.

One thing I've learned is if we can and want to retain a certain memory, it helps if we take a photo or document it somewhere with the date, venue, and what we remember most about it. Cos if we grow real old, our brain's not gonna be fresh forever. But perhaps seeing the picture or reading smth about it might trigger the memory. 

But say if we don't live long enough, at least we've left a part of us for whoever's still alive in the family to see. 

I have to be honest, I'm so afraid to die. I had another nightmare of dying. But this time everyone's going to die. There was a collective understanding that soon everyone would pass at the same time. We didn't know the exact time and day but we knew it was soon. I hugged everyone close to me and said my last words. I took all of mum's things, held it tight and closed my eyes, hoping sleeping would make the 'transition' into wherever life after death brings us, easier. 

Then Mirzan jolted me awake "Kakak wake up, wake up". I've never felt better about being alive.