Juice of Life

There's something absolutely incredible about this drink. To me, it is THE Elixir of Life. I am quickly replacing my frequent dose of coffee to what seems to be a not-so-healthy pick of the Red Bull. It's readily available, no hassle of constant mixing like home-made coffee, and oh so rejuvenating.

I don't know if it's some psychological thing or if Red Bull really works. It makes me feel slightly stronger. And it makes me believe I can stay up all night to do work. It makes me believe I have the energy even tho at the back of my head, I know I'm a little tired already. Which is great!

The Elixir of Life that gives me wings!







*yawnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn*

It's 9.15 pm

Haha I'm bored now so I thought of putting up something.


Jared post-filming of Chapter 27 (FOX news)

The best Gift to Give is Love

To the lady who gave me the gift of life,

Roseminah Ali @ Abdullah (aka Mummy)
born Feb 11 1959
loved tennis, chess, writing poems, the Malay language, being with her children, being a filial wife, being with her friends, video editing, talking, laughing (more like roaring laughter, can’t believe I used to be embarrassed by that. Now I’m the one with roaring laughter).

I don’t know how to begin.


I miss you.


So so dearly…


I’ve never really blogged about this before, but I think tonight is right.


Almost exactly 8 years ago (overshot by a couple of hrs), I was highlighting notes in my History textbook, then I went in to see you, all our relatives stood silently by your bed. That was the night, the most painful night I had to watch, the night I cried till I had literally no tears left. The next day I couldn’t cry anymore. As sad as I felt watching you as a 12-year-old, the tears refused to come out.

“What happened to your eye?” a friend asked the next day.
“I was watching too many sappy movies,” I said with a smile.


11 Feb 2000 (Mummy’s 41st Birthday)

You were sitting in the black, resting chair in your room staring into space. I came in with a measly birthday card.

“Happy Birthday Mummy,” I said with a smile as I gave you the card and sat on your lap.

You told me bapak bought you a new set of comforters for your birthday.

“I don’t want anything for my birthday I just want to get well!” you desperately said.

My heart started to shatter. I didn’t want to think it was real at all, but it was. I was obviously unaware of how much more it hurt for you.

You read my card and embraced me tightly, “I love you very, very, very much…” You repeated those words for the next few weeks.

I hugged you back knowing one day I might not be able to do it anymore. I dashed to my room, quickly closed the door, ran to my bed and buried my face in my pillow. I cried away. I cried and cried and cried. Will you still be around in the next 10 years? Will you get better? How much longer do you have?


I saw you go bald from the effects of chemo. It never occurred to me how serious the disease was. I was 12 and stupid. If only I were smarter, I would’ve spent every waking moment trying to please you and make you happy. If only I were smarter! So so stupid!

One day you had to be admitted back to hospital. On the way there you looked alright, healthy. You went to the hospital… and never came back home. Somehow your condition worsened. Bapak constantly stayed by your side. I have so many questions. Were you ready for this at all? Why didn’t you share your pain with me? At least we could have gone through it together. You didn’t have to keep it to yourself… it would be less painful.

This night, 8 years ago, I sat by your side tearing away, constantly reading Al-Fatihah. Everyone was reading prayers for you. At this time, 25 Feb 2000, 4.17 am, you were struggling to stay alive. You were in great, great pain. Your eyes kept rolling back. You kept wincing. You couldn’t even talk anymore. It hurt to watch so much. Every few minutes, some yellow substance would excrete from your mouth and someone would clean it up for you.

I didn’t know what was happening to you, Mum. But I knew it wasn’t normal and it wasn’t good. All I could do was keep on crying and reading.

When it got late, it was time to go home. Abang and I had an exam the next day. I went over to your side, put my mouth really close to your ear and said, “I love you Mummy, I’m sorry I have to go. I have an exam tomorrow.” I gave you a kiss and didn’t want to let go. When outside I realized those might be my last words to you. I regretted not saying something more. Arghhh!!!!! LAST WORDS FOR GOD’S SAKE!!!

The next day, I couldn’t concentrate on my paper. Bapak stayed by your side the entire night tending to you. Repaying you back for all the years you’ve been faithful to him. In his own words, you are an example of a good wife. I second that.

On the way to the hospital, I started worrying. I didn’t want to miss your last moments. Mummy, please wait for me…

We quickly made our way to your ward. Angah was standing outside with Kak Mila. She turned and looked at us. I expected her to burst into a smile and tell us a miracle happened. Instead, she shook her head. My tears started flowing freely again. I slowly walked into your ward, and saw you lying there motionless.

You looked so peaceful, almost angelic. I blame this all on myself. I think it happened to you because of my sins Mum. I’m sorry.

Your face was purple, your lips were blue, you were bald, veins popped in every direction. You already left. But I understand Mummy. It’s time to take a rest, no more pain. You held on to the pain for too long. Were you waiting for me and abang to come back? I’m glad you went first. It would’ve been a lot more painful if you tried to hold on longer.

I kissed you for the very very last time. To repay for your 12years of endless dedication to showering abang and I with love. For all those nights you kissed us goodnight because "you never know if I don't get to see you in the morning." I planted my lips on your cheek for what seemed like forever and ever. In my head, I played my ideal last words in hope you could hear me.

“Rest mummy. I love you very very very very very much…”

As I pulled away, tears streamed down my face. And I don’t know if it was just me, but I saw a tear roll down your cheek.

Thank you for the 12 years you raised me. It was short but every moment spent was nothing short of a fantasy. You are and forever will remain in our hearts and minds. Goodnight, Mummy.

Love,
Tasha, Athir, and Bapak

Roseminah Ali @ Abdullah
11 Feb 1959 – 25 Feb 2000

The Best Brother in my World (other than mirzan)

Brother: What do you think of the mac book?

Sister: well it has loads of good applications.

Brother: Wld you like to have the mac book?

Sister: i don't mind :)

Brother: Do you really really want a mac book?

Sister: i would really really love a macbook :)

Brother: Haha. Then we'll get it!

Sister: thanks bro, you know i love you right? :)

"Mr Nobody" is coming!

I am excited. Jared's new movie is coming out in 2008-2009. Here's the skinny!

Mr Nobody

Nemo Nobody leads an ordinary existence at his wife's side, Elise, and their 3 children until the day when reality skids and he wakes up as an old man in the year 2092. At 120, Mr. Nobody is both the oldest man in the world and the last mortal of a new mankind where nobody dies anymore. 

But that doesn't seem to interest or bother him very much. The only questions that preoccupy him in the present is whether he lived the right life for himself, loved the woman whom he was supposed to love, and had the children whom he was meant to have... now his purpose is to find the right answer. 

So  it's almost like Rip Van Winkle. I think there's a few different versions but the one I know of is,

Rip Van Winkle is a man loved by all except his wife. One autumn day, he escapes his wife by wandering up the mountains. After encountering strangely dressed men and drinking some of their liquor, he settles down under a shady tree and falls asleep. He wakes up twenty years later, only to find his wife is dead and his close friends have died in a war or gone somewhere else. 

Butter Fly

FLY, FLY, BUTTER FLY! Just a random idea we had.

I Love it

coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee
coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee

I love coming to Holland Village every morning. I enjoy the realxing bus ride there. I love the strong breeze that greets us when we get off the bus. I love getting our morning coffee at Burger King or Starbucks. I love the friendly people we meet (the Starbucks girl is nice. The first time we met her she was already yapping away). I love walking around at lunch time looking for places to eat, people-watching and car-watching (some pretty nice cars go by everyday).

One main thing to add to the whole experience is reminiscence. My mak and bapak angkat (godparents. im not sure if it's the right term) used to live there and as a kid, I would always live with them during the holidays. My datuk Ismail (grandfather) lived in the same block as them. So I've spent half my childhood there since I was a year old. The sad thing is a lot of the HDBs have been upgraded and stuff so it looks a tad different. But last week as I walked through the blocks an avalanche of memories just washed over me.

It was sad, yet I was happy to be back there. To smell the air, to appreciate the sights. It felt like I was a 5 year old again getting ready to go to the playground with mak. She's a little old now, about 60. And living by herself, while still working, at Lavender. A lot of things happened in between that might've made her sad but she always refuses to show. She used to have 3 sons but now she has 1. She used to have a husband but now she has none. She was there to hold me in her arms when my mum passed.

20 years since I first met her as a baby she's always looked the same to me. Beautiful smile and a glimmer in her eyes when she does. And I've always felt comforted by that. I told myself one day I'm going to take care of her. When I'm successful, I'll make sure she, my father and stepmum have a stable place to live in where they won't have to work anymore. They deserve a rest.

I'll take her for a walk around the neighbourhood one day. And we'll just sit there together in the breeze, stare at our surroundings and know we had such amazing times together. Probably the best years together. At our house in Holland Road. Back in the 90s. When everyone else was still alive.

Getting Kerrang!-ed

KERRANG! KERRANG! KERRANG! KERRANG! KERRANG! KERRANG! KERRANG! KERRANG! KERRANG! KERRANG! KERRANG! KERRANG! KERRANG! KERRANG! KERRANG! KERRANG! KERRANG! KERRANG! KERRANG! KERRANG! KERRANG! KERRANG! KERRANG! KERRANG! KERRANG! KERRANG! KERRANG! KERRANG! KERRANG! KERRANG! KERRANG! KERRANG! KERRANG! KERRANG! KERRANG! KERRANG! KERRANG! KERRANG! KERRANG! KERRANG! KERRANG! KERRANG! KERRANG! KERRANG! KERRANG! KERRANG! KERRANG! KERRANG! KERRANG! KERRANG! KERRANG! KERRANG! KERRANG! KERRANG! KERRANG! KERRANG! KERRANG! KERRANG! KERRANG! KERRANG! KERRANG! KERRANG! KERRANG! KERRANG! KERRANG! KERRANG!

So lunchtime yesterday, after a pleasant visit to Guardian (to grab me a pack of soft, winged kotex) we made our way to our food destination. That was when we passed by the GREAT MAGAZINE STORE cos it has the most variety of magazines I've seen. And its run by a great bunch of Indians.

I remembered the magazine store being there as a kid, and it's still here today! The great thing is there's always something new to see everyday.

So anyway, we were walking by when I looked to up to my left and stopped. My heart probably stopped along with it. There peeking from behind another magazine was Tomo's (extreme left) face. When I pulled the mag out, I almost fainted. Call it obsession or whatever but it's not all the time I get to see my favourite band on the cover of a magazine. Esp. here in SG.

That's why this GREAT MAGAZINE STORE run by a great bunch of Indians is simply GREATastic.

The sad thing was that it cost $10.10 cos its imported which meant I had to give up my lunch money. And for 30 Seconds To Mars I did. A friend said he still cant believe I would give up a meal just for a magazine.

I told him you won't know till you're in my shoes.

If you REALLY like a band or a person or some other thing you're passionate about, you'd want to go out and support them. My reason for buying the mag is because I like the band and I want to get to know more about them. It might be an obsession but I don't care. I just know I love this band and no one else should be bothered about it.

American Idol Season 7

I remembered being amazingly intrigued by a talent show that had fast taken the world by storm. Not only because of the wacky personalities going in and out of the audition room, but I believe the judges played a role too.

Everyone wanted to watch what the infamous Simon says. He's been claimed to be so straight-forward and cynical he could make people cry in one minute, tops. So we had to watch the first season of American Idol to see for ourselves. Many seasons later, I lost interest.

But last night, I persevered. I watched American Idol season 7 for a whole 2 hours. Because a few talents caught my attention.

David Archuleta 17-years-old, started singing at 7

David Archuleta - Shop Around (60s night)

Garrett Haley 17-years-old, performed in local talent shows and high school musicals

Garrett Haley - Breaking Up Is Hard To Do (60s night)

Jason Castro 20-years-old, played in a band Keeping Lions, and plays drums other than singing



Jason Castro - What A Day For A Daydream (60s night)

Hot stud of the Week

JUDE LAW
Don't know why?
Because his accent is oh-so-delectable. It's so smooth, you just want to melt, like, NOW!

Occupation: Actor

Known for movies like: Talented Mr Ripley, Gattaca, Artificial Intelligence, Cold Mountain, Alfie, Sky Captain and The World of Tomorrow, and recently, My Blueberry Nights.

"Hey Jude, don't make it bad,

Take a sad song and make it better,

Remember to let her into your heart,

Then you can start to make it better."

- The Beatles, Hey Jude

R.I.P Lydia

Sound escape

I am a sad, sad girl. I went to three different music stores with $20 in my pocket, ready to grab that CD when I see it but all I got were the store attendants saying, "NO STOCK".

Oh, Paramore where have you gone. Anyway, during the weekend I've been visiting a lot of music blogs and listening to sounds I've never heard. Some nice ones that will probably stay in my playlist for awhile are,

PARAMORE

Quintet from Tennessee, formed in 2004. Led by frontwoman, 18-year-old Hayley Williams, lead guitar, 20-year-old Josh Farro, drums, 17-year-old Zac Farro, and bass guitar, 22-year-old Jeremy Davis. RIOT! is their sophomore album.


Paramore - Misery Business (live at FUSE)





ARCADE FIRE
























Formed by husband and wife duo, Win Butler and Regine Chassagne, in mid-2003. he current lineup solidified in late 2003. Arcade Fire are known for their use of large numbers of musical instruments. In addition to the guitar, drums and bass guitar, members play piano, violin, viola, cello, double bass, xylophone, keyboard, French horn, accordion, hurdy gurdy, harp and mandolin.


Arcade Fire - No Cars Go (live in Paris)


KT TUNSTALL






























Hmm DRASTIC FANTASTIC! I saw KT on Ellen the other day. She gave a pretty good performance. I heard rumours about her rags-to-(coming to)riches story. She used to live in the streets, and now she's pretty successful.


KT Tunstall - I Want You Back (Jackson 5 cover)


CIRCA SURVIVE




























Circa Survive is a rock band consisting of vocalist Anthony Green, Colin Frangicetto, Brendan Ekstrom, Nick Beard, and Steve Clifford. A couple of the band members were from a now-defunct This Day Forward. They released their first album, The Inuit Sessions, in 2005.



Circa Survive - Act Appalled (music video)

Stryker on Ellen

Stryker is the new deejay for Season 5 the Ellen show!

Woo, I’m happy for him. Used to listen to his show on podcast. It's a radio show called Loveline, where people call in to talk to Stryker or Dr. Drew (a real doctor with a personality) about anything (and I mean anything from drug abuse, cutting, sex, oral sex, pornography, paedophilia, and all sorts of victimization) they've experienced.

So it was nice seeing him on tv for the first time.



Stryker and Dr. Drew while watching 2 girls 1 cup



"She Don't Need No Emmy" - Stryker on Ellen show

"Thank God for Editing"

When people film, it helps ease their mind that they're able to take out anything that might not be nice from the footage, manipulate it, or add other elements to it. That's why people say reality TV isn't realistic at all. They know most of the plots have been dramatized and scripted to entertain the audience. While that isn't really why I enjoy editing (well maybe), I have wondered many timnes before. What is it about it that attracts me so.

My mum was a video editor. Is that why I like it? Maybe. Or maybe it's in the 'genes' because there must've been a reason why she became an editor. "Can't be, I'm not into video editing," says my brother. Oh well, I'm not even sure how this works. I thought of how beautiful the outcome could be after editing. Perhaps there's a desire to contribute to something beautiful.

While practising on the vision mixer one day, Jose asked why I like (live) editing. I stared blankly in space. The he asked, "do you enjoy manipulating people's lives?" I was taken aback. Is that why? No it can't be.. maybe. I know I don't choose things for people, I leave them to do their own things and be merry. I might suggest things once in a while but never force it on them.

Then I thought, perhaps the magical part of editing is that its the closest we could get to perfection. Being able to change something from its original place, experiment with different elements, and wait to see the outcome. We know humans aren't perfect and never will be. And there's this thing where we're constantly growing, wanting to be bigger, wiser, better all the time.

Editing might be a reflection of our inner desire to change, throw away/add certain things, completely revamp. To be better. Even if we can't be perfect, we can help perfect something else. And sometimes that's enough to satisfy.

30STG

Hah! Finally submitted something for the 30 Seconds To Green campaign!

Yayyyyyyyyy

RELEASE of A Beautiful Lie!

A Beautiful Lie

First music video shot in Greenland

in support to reduce global warming

(released 30 January 2008) - abeautifullie.org